Discussion #3 & Final Wrap-up: Love the One You’re With

All righty then, Chicken Lit’ers – let’s move forward with discussion #3 of Love the One You’re With and wrap up our talk about the book. What an emotional whirlwind, don’t you think? How about a few questions:

  • Was Ellen’s reaction to the wine debacle over exaggerated? Why or why not?
  • Did it seem obvious that Ellen was attempting to justify working with Leo by bringing Lucy into the picture?
  • What do you think was Margot’s motivation in not informing Ellen of Leo’s return?
  • In making her final choice between Leo & Andy, what was the final moment of enlightenment for Ellen? Was it the right choice, after all?
  • Which characters grew emotionally in this book? Ellen? Andy? Margot? Leo?
  • Finally, would you recommend this book to other readers? Why or why not?
  • What is your overall rating (1-10)?

If you have any other questions or ideas you’d like to throw in the ring for our discussion, toss away. And finally, the Chicken Lit’ers officially nominate Dory in selecting (or offering choices for) book #21.

Stay posted – a poll might be involved, in which case, we will need your vote!

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10 Responses to Discussion #3 & Final Wrap-up: Love the One You’re With

  1. maksbestfriend says:

    * Was Ellen’s reaction to the wine debacle over exaggerated? Why or why not?
    I think that a part of me thinks that she was expecting something to go wrong since she dislikes the hostess, so she was on an even more heightened sense of self. Kind of like a drama queen. I would have shrugged it off to rude, obnoxious people, but she took it so personally and was just looking for an excuse to justify her potential actions.

    * Did it seem obvious that Ellen was attempting to justify working with Leo by bringing Lucy into the picture?
    Yes, exactly. How else was she going to get the ex back into the picture? No other above board way to do it.

    * What do you think was Margot’s motivation in not informing Ellen of Leo’s return?
    I think that at first she might have seen her brother falling in love with Ellen and didn’t want to spoil his potential joy with her. But she was also selfish and acting controlling, something she did from the very beginning with her money and her attitude towards Leo. Note she never took responsibility for her actions either. But then again do you think that a person like her does for the actions she takes in life.

    * In making her final choice between Leo & Andy, what was the final moment of enlightenment for her? Was it the right choice, after all?
    I think that the moment of enlightenment for her was that marriage was not all about her and her wants and needs but those of both her and her spouse and the family that she is surrounded with. It may not have been the perfect situation, but marriage is work and if she and he were really willing to work at it, they could make it work for the better.

    * Which characters grew emotionally in this book? Ellen? Andy? Margo? Leo?
    Definitely not Margo. She is out for what she wants, even when called on the carpet.

    Andy in that he had to know that he had to learn to include her in his life and that his life did not revolve around his college buddies and his family exclusively. Marriage is a partnership. I think that when faced with losing it all, he chose his wife.

    Ellen, to a degree. I think that she needs to work on her own self worth and not finding it in others, like her husband. If she is going to live in Atlanta, she either needs a career or something equally as fulfilling. Maybe a family.

    Leo. I think that Leo will always hold onto the hope of what might have been with Ellen. I am wondering if he will ever give up the hope of their being together or if their paths will cross again, professionally?

    * Finally, would you recommend this book to other readers? Why or why not?
    I would recommend. The end of the book is much better than the beginning. At first, I was a bit disappointed because I thought that the book was going in one direction and it ended up going in a much better direction. I was pleasantly surprised!

    * What is your overall rating (1-10)?
    7. Not the best, and not the worst, but right up there.

  2. Here’s my take-

    * Was Ellen’s reaction to the wine debacle over exaggerated? Why or why not?
    I don’t think it was over exaggerated, but it obviously seemed that way to Andy. With the emotional turmoil Ellen was undergoing in feeling like a ‘fish out of water’ in Atlanta, having the party-goers insult her roots was the final straw for her. Andy should’ve stood up for her, if anything by offering a positive remark in support of Philadelphia. But all he did was offer the ‘Let it ride’ look to her. Ouch.

    * Did it seem obvious that Ellen was attempting to justify working with Leo by bringing Lucy into the picture?
    To me as a reader, yes, but maybe not so much to Andy or the other party guests. Although, I would be surprised if Margot didn’t have a clue about why Ellen wanted Lucy on the guest list.

    * What do you think was Margot’s motivation in not informing Ellen of Leo’s return?
    I actually think Margot thought Leo was toxic to Ellen, and his return would only reverse Ellen’s healing process as she finally started dating again. And since Ellen was dating her brother, she obviously didn’t want her brother to go down that road with Ellen’s heart in another place.

    * In making her final choice between Leo & Andy, what was the final moment of enlightenment for Ellen? Was it the right choice, after all?
    After Ellen learned how Leo pretty much dropped his girlfriend just as he’d done her previously, and also of his total lack of commitment toward long term relationships, Ellen seemed to see her marriage to Andy in a whole new light – a pivotal moment.

    * Which characters grew emotionally in this book? Ellen? Andy? Margot? Leo?
    Ellen: Absolutely. She evolved from a spoiled, self-centered brat into a mature thinking woman. Bravo!
    Andy: Yes. He needed an eye-opener to help step out of himself while enjoying his dream to allow for compromise so that Ellen could realize hers, too.
    Margot: Yes. She finally realized that she could not control all relationships around her. Thank goodness.
    Leo: Not at all. That guy has some growing to do.

    * Finally, would you recommend this book to other readers? Why or why not?
    I would, with a warning that it’s not the most uplifting of books – at least not in the beginning. Well worth reading, nonetheless.

    * What is your overall rating (1-10)?
    This one isn’t as good as previous books that I’ve read by Emily Giffin, but it’s good enough for a 7.5.

  3. @maksbestfriend – Great answers! I especially liked the way you summed up the ‘enlightenment’ question. Very nicely worded, and I couldn’t agree more. 🙂

  4. maksbestfriend says:

    Aw, shucks, ma’am…I just do my best…anyone that says that marriage is not work is lying. 😉

  5. @maksbestfriend – amen! And that 1st year really is a doozy.

  6. Dory says:

    * Was Ellen’s reaction to the wine debacle over exaggerated? Why or why not?
    I think it was overreacted but…. I can sort of understand it. Her frustration with LOTS of things was so high – it was the perfect opening to uncork! (no pun intended) 😉

    * Did it seem obvious that Ellen was attempting to justify working with Leo by bringing Lucy into the picture?
    Um YEAH. *It’s ok if I do this b/c you’re doing that* or maybe more of a *see? I’m so mature, I can let YOU talk to your ex and not mind one bit… so I don’t see why you’re having a problem with ME doing the same thing*

    * What do you think was Margot’s motivation in not informing Ellen of Leo’s return?
    I think it was probably dual-fold… to protect Andy from possibly losing Ellen, but more so because she didn’t like Leo & didn’t like the person Ellen became when they were together. I think it was sort of selfish of her to choose for Ellen.

    * In making her final choice between Leo & Andy, what was the final moment of enlightenment for Ellen? Was it the right choice, after all?
    I think her conversation with Suzanne helped her confirm what she was already realizing in her heart. She knew she was on the wrong path already. When she’d heard Leo explain about his girlfriend, a familiar recognition to what had happened to them dawned on her. And then, when he really couldn’t say if he thought they’d have stayed together forever – I think she realized that Leo wasn’t much different then before.

    * Which characters grew emotionally in this book? Ellen? Andy? Margot? Leo?
    Ellen – absolutely. I loved watching her grow up, from the girl that was all ga-ga over Leo to the woman that chose her husband – in the end. I truly believe sometimes these little *tests* are thrown our way for a reason… she needed to finally, once and for all KNOW that she’d made the right choice.
    Andy – I wanted the CLAP when the man stepped out of the taxi at the end. Good for him for coming for his wife instead of being a sullen baby, like he was when he left the night before.
    Margot – not so much. She was trying to do what was best for Ellen… but I think it might have saved Ellen from years of *what ifs* without her interference.
    Leo – I can sort of see his side… the whole *one that got away* thing. But, he just needed to man up and realize he was NOT the best choice for Ellen. Too late bud.

    * Finally, would you recommend this book to other readers? Why or why not?
    Sure. It actually hit close to home for me for several reasons…in a sort of *been there, done that* sort of way. For a while there, I wasn’t sure I was going to like it at all – but I definitely like the way it ended.
    * What is your overall rating (1-10)?
    Well, maybe an 8. It flowed well, it held my attention, and it ended up making me want to clap near the end, like at a good movie. That’s always a PLUS! 😛

  7. Dory says:

    Wow. I didn’t realize that was going to be sooo long! 🙂 Just call me chatty cathy.

    Ok, for the next book, I have some suggestions…. I looked at the list of what has been read so hopefully this are all new (unless I missed one!) I went to my bookshelf and picked out the first 5 I saw that I haven’t read yet but obviously wanted to or I wouldn’t have bought them!

    Chasing Harry Winston – Laura Weisenberger
    Can you Keep a Secret? – Sophie Kinsella
    Mr. Maybe – Jane Green
    Hissy Fit – Mary Kay Andrews
    Walking in Circles before Lying Down – Merrill Markoe

    I don’t think that last one is really *chick lit* but … I love the title. 😉
    What do you think?

  8. maksbestfriend says:

    The first two books were on Audible.com. Yay! I have the other 3 sitting in my cart at Amazon just waiting for us to make a decision. I will get one of the two as my freebie book tomorrow. I like all the choices!

    Becca

  9. Chatty Cathy’s fit right in here – all of your posts made me want to punch the air with a resounding, “Amen, sister!” So glad you made it to the end and actually liked this one. Now for our next book…

    I’ve seen ‘Chasing’ all over Amazon and Barnes & Noble, but just needed a reason to buy it. I like.

    ‘Can You Keep…’ – read that one and loved it. One of my favorites.

    ‘Mr. Maybe’ – another one on my wish list.

    ‘Hissy’ & ‘Walking’ – not familiar with, but would consider.

    I’ll post a poll with the 4 none of us have read yet. Excellent choices, thanks Dory!

  10. maksbestfriend says:

    Come on, come on, Mrs. Impatient to get her shopping fingers moving! 😉

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